


Don't let me remember

by jimlecavich1



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Amnesia, Goodbyes, M/M, Sad Alec Lightwood, Sad Magnus
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-26
Updated: 2017-12-04
Packaged: 2019-02-07 00:49:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,944
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12829755
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jimlecavich1/pseuds/jimlecavich1
Summary: When Alec's marriage is still taking place Magnus realizes that if Alec gets married he will be destroyed. So Magnus asks Alec to come over to help him with a memory serum which would delete Alec from his brain.





	1. Chapter 1

Magnus sat in his loft thinking about the fact that Alec’s wedding is in a few days. Thoughts raced through his mind. ‘Should I stop him? How do I stop him? Can I change his mind?’ But at the end, Magnus finally came to the realization that Alec was not gonna be persuaded to follow his heart.

 

Magnus picked up his phone and clicked Alec’s picture. “Hello?” Alec said questioning if Magnus was going to flirt or just call on business. “Alec are you busy I have something important we need to discuss.” Alec didn’t like the way ‘Alec’ sounded coming from Magnus. “Um..no I'm not busy I'll be there is thirty,” Alec said hanging up.

 

Magnus stood up and gathered his ingredients. He thought about the way he felt when he first saw Alec. He remembered the feeling of amazement because he had never seen a person so beautiful.  He felt tears start to tickle his eyes and he blinked hard letting a few escape. 

 

He remembered the way Alec’s hand melted around his when he needed his strength. The way he felt safe and the way he felt as though he had awakened a part of himself that had been in hibernation.He was too focused on mixing his ingredients while stopping every so often to wipe his eyes as they became waterfalls that he didn’t realize Alec had entered the room. 

 

“Magnus? You ok?” Alec said trying to be shallowly comforting. He was nervous he thought this was professional. “No, but I will be in a second,” Magnus said stirring the last bit of red liquid into the cauldron. “What kind of business am I here for exactly,” Alec says walking closer to the table.

 

“Well Alexander, you have made it very clear that I won’t change your mind so I'm making a kind of venom that when I inject it into my skin I will forget you so I don’t have to endure heartbreak,” Magnus said being careful not to look at Alec. “Wait..you’re just gonna forget about me?” Alec says clearly taken back by Magnus.

 

“This is professional you have to use your head don’t take it personally I'm doing this because...because I won’t be able to stand you marry someone who isn’t me.” Magnus then turned around and looked at him. Alec saw the tears that were staining his face. His face softened and he looked at Magnus.

 

“Fine, what do you need me to do.” Magnus stood up and rested his hand on Alec’s face. Alec was a little nervous because he wasn’t used to physical touches. Magnus ran his hands down Alec’s neck and up again to the tip of his nose and then his lips. “Magnus what are you..?” Alec began to say but was quickly interrupted by Magnus’s explanation.

 

“Wait just before I forget you I want to remember every single part of your gorgeous face,” Alec shut his eyes because he felt as though Magnus was the only one who understood him. When Magnus began to speak Alec felt like he was reading his mind.

“I want to say before I forget you that, you are perfect and I know that you are being forced to marry her but if we have an afterlife I will find you and I will fall in love with you again and again because we are meant to be together. Just not exactly right now.” Magnus said pulling away.

 

When Alec opened his eyes he saw Magnus was smiling. Magnus wiped away a lone tear that fell from Alec's eye. “What I need you to do is prick your finger and mix it into the clear liquid,” Magnus says dropping the subject.

 

Alec picked up the needle which was sitting on the table. He looked at Magnus and shared a moment.Alec pricked his finger and put it into the liquid. Magnus started chanting in a language Alec didn’t understand. He instructed Alec to pick up the syringe and stab him. Alec picked up the syringe and stuck it into Magnus’s arm. Before squeezing he wanted to be brave so he yapped.

 

“Wait, Magnus, I want to tell you something. I want to say thank you because you are the first person that made me feel ok about who I am even though I never told anyone it was my secret truth. The way I felt when I first met you and I first looked into your eyes was, magical. Even though you’re forgetting me doesn’t mean I will ever forget you. You are and always will be special to me and like you said if there is an afterlife I will be waiting for you because you are meant for me and there is no one that I want to be with more than you.” Alec looks at Magnus and kisses him on the forehead as the liquid fills Magnus.

 

The syringe is completely empty when Alec pulls it out. He walks out of Magnus’s apartment and walks towards the institute. When he gets into his room he sits on the edge of his bed and he starts to lightly sob while looking at the floor.

 

He hears a knock at the door and sees Izzy let herself in. “Oh my god Alec,” Izzy says as she wraps her arms around Alec's head. “It's gonna be ok,” Izzy whispers. “No….It's not he..doesn’t remember me..no...it hurts,” Alec says. Izzy remains quite just letting Alec wallow in the quiet comfort.

 

A couple weeks later the high warlock of Brooklyn is called to the institute to strengthen the wards. No one told Alec because they didn’t know they should. Alec was training when he saw Magnus wave his hand over the wall.

 

He stood frozen staring at him. Magnus didn’t turn around but he felt the presents he uttered a mean. “Can I help you.” Alec was so used to Magnus being nice and sweet. “Um..no sorry.” He said going back to training. “That is what I thought stupid Nephilim.” Magnus practically whispered it but Alec heard it. 

  
  


He continued to train and Magnus continued to work on the wards. Alec felt like a child because he was actually crying. He sat down against the wall and let the tears fall. Magnus turned around and made eye contact with him.Magnus looked shocked, sorry, pleased and a little amused. Magnus opened his mouth to say something but he was interrupted by Raj making a remark.

 

“Warlock, get your ass back to work.” But Magnus didn’t. “Warlock are you stupid too? Get back to work, now.” Raj says with a laugh. Alec mutters something under my breath. “What was that Alec,” Raj says walking up to me. “I said dickhead his name is Magnus and I highly suggest you turn around and walk away before I show you how a goddamn Lightwood fights. Now turn around and scat.”  Raj walks away looking utterly defeated.

 

I start training again and Magnus and I start to stare at each other periodically. Lydia walks up to me and hugs me goodbye. She is going back to Idris because after I called off the wedding she didn’t need to stay.

 

I hear Magnus say “That your girlfriend.” I reply with a casual. “Nah she isn’t my type.” Magnus says “Blondes?” I reply with. “ No, girls.” He turns around and practically screams. “Oh, sweet Lilith a gay shadowhunter.” I look at him and smile. 

 

He looks confused like he was rethinking then he walks up and puts his hand out. “I’m Magnus Bane.” I take his hand and smile back. “I’m Alec Lightwood.” Our hands linger together. “Is Alec short for Alexander.” I smile and bathe in the feeling of Magnus saying my name after so long without it. “Yeah.” 


	2. Courage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus and Alec get a drink.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me if you want more.

For a couple of minutes, Alec and Magnus just sat there talking and laughing. Magnus was completely surprised, he had never met a shadowhunter so nice. Magnus started to tell a story that Alec knew. It was about him being drunk in a desert. But Alec sat there and he listened to the whole story. The fact that Magnus was talking and near him was like a hole was being filled.

 

Maryse walked into the room and immediately ended their conversation with a quick, “Back to work please.” Before Magnus pulled away Alec was feeling confident so in front of his mother he asked, “Can I get your number?” Maryse looked less shocked than Magnus. Magnus winked his eye and a note appeared in Alec’s hand.  It read ‘ _ I already put my number on your phone when we were talking but maybe be can have drinks some time? _ \-  Magnus Bane.’

 

Alec looked up and smiled brightly at Magnus. Magnus went back to fixing the wards and Alec went back to training. Izzy walked in and started to train. She realized that Magnus and Alec were exchanging looks and she flipped. “Alec are you serious?” Alec looked over at her and looked confused. “You know what happened last time.” Alec stopped and looked at her. “You do realize what happened was my fault right now I can fix it,” Izzy walked up to Alec and said, “Mi Hermano I don’t want to see you hurt again.” She hugged him and walked away.

 

Alec laughed when she almost tripped because she made eye contact with Magnus when she left. “So about that drink.” Magnus turned around and said, “What about 7 pm?” Alec agrees and says “I can do 7.” He smiles at me and walks off yelling “7 then.”  Alec walks into his room and takes off his clothes while he gets into the shower. He scrubs layers of sweat and old tears off himself.

 

He gets out and looks in the mirror. He can’t help but smile about what He’s doing. He thinks ‘I can’t believe that I'm about to hang out with Magnus.’ He gets dressed in black pants and a dark blue short sleeved shirt. For obvious reasons, he didn’t need an address to know where Magnus lived. He went to the loft door and Magnus’s wards sensed me so Magnus opened the door with magic.

 

Alec walks in and Magnus is standing in the living room with a drink. He turned around and purrs, “Alexander.” Alec smiles at him and Magnus hands him a drink.  Alec smiles wide when he said “To us,” Just like the first time they had drinks.He chugs down the liquid that tasted like acid and cough when He’s done. Magnus laughs and takes his empty cup.

 

“You know how unusual this is right?” Magnus questions sitting next to Him on the couch. Alec looks at him, “What is unusual?” He says smiling. Magnus sits up a bit and says, “A shadowhunter being nice to me.”  Alec stopped smiling and licked his lips. He opened his mouth to say something but nothing came out. He cleared his throat and just smiled.  “Do you want another drink,” Magnus said quietly still staring at Alec. Alec nods and Magnus gets up to make two more drinks. Magnus gets the drinks and sits down with Alec. They cheer and start to talk about the duties of being the high warlock and acting head of the institute.

 

Magnus thinks about what Izzy said earlier. “What was your sister talking about when you were training?” Magnus said with a tilt of the head. Alec sat up a bit and started to yap. 

 

“Well about a year ago I met this guy who was absolutely amazing. He was the first guy who I felt like understood me. He would always flirt and laugh, he was so completely perfect. But a couple weeks after we met my mother decided I needed to marry someone to uphold the family name. At the time I was still closeted, So I agreed and proposed to a girl. When I told him he took it pretty bad and was hurt. But even though I kept pushing him away he never gave up hope that we would be together. That was until he thought I didn’t love him so that was the end of that.” 

 

Magnus looked at Alec and said, “Do you ever think you can love someone like that again?” Alec smiled and whispered, “Hopefully.” By the end of the night, they were both very happy. Magnus felt drawn to Alec. Alec felt like he was jumping on this chance to love Magnus because he couldn’t do it before. When Alec looked at the time he felt as though he blinked his eyes and it was 2 A.M. Alec mumbled: “Dammit, I have to go can I see you again?” Magnus stood up and started walking Alec to the door.

 

“I would love that maybe we can go on an actual date,” Magnus looked at Alec and Alec smiled big. Alec thought over and over and over. _ ‘I should kiss him, is it too soon?’  _  Alec walked out waving and stopped about halfway down the hall. Magnus wanted to kiss him too but thought it would scare him away.

 

Alec opened the door again and Magnus was still standing there. Alec walked over and put his hand on Magnus’s face. He leaned down and kissed him. The kiss was soft and passionate. Alec backed up a little, smiled and said: “Text me.” He shut the door and walked out of the building. Magnus stayed there shocked and stunned. He started to laugh because he didn’t know what else to do he thought.  _ ‘Alexander Lightwood is amazing.’  _

  
When Alec walked into the institute everything was quiet. When he walked into his room Izzy was laying on the bed. He shook her a bit and when she woke up she asked, “What happened?” Alec smiled at her and said, “We kissed.” He started laughing and Izzy smiled bright “How was it,” Alec breathed out a heavy huff as he lied next to her. He smiled with his entire face and said. “It was perfect.”


	3. Movies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec goes over to Magnus's and light smut occurs while they are watching a movie. Clary lets something slip about Alec to Magnus and he starts to ask questions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if this chapter is bad. Tell me if you want more. And guys fr start giving me things to write I don't have the best ideas.

Magnus woke up the next day with a beaming smile. He checked his phone and he had received two messages from ‘Alexander Lightwood’.’ They read ‘Thx. For making my night.’

‘Sleep well.’ Magnus stared at the text messages and smiled even more. He put his hand on his face thinking about the previous night. He muttered to himself ‘What am I doing’ while laughing.

 

He stood up walking out of the door towards the kitchen. He started the coffee wanting to save his magic for throughout the day. He sat down on a stool with his phone and called Alexander. ‘Hello?’ Alec muttered, Magnus, sensing the smile through the phone. ‘Alexander, hi I wanted to invite you over tonight, maybe we could watch a movie?’ Alec looked down at the small stack of paperwork on his desk and knew he would be done before 8 pm. 

 

‘Sure I'll be there at like 7:45 or 8.’ Magnus watched the coffee emptied into the cup. ‘Of course darling I can’t wait to see you.’ Magnus hung up as he stood up. Alec, on the other hand, was still wallowing in the afterglow of Magnus. He is intoxicating after all this time apart it was like he was drowning. 

 

He was only snapped out of his thoughts by A knock at the door. ‘Come in.’ he muttered as Clary walked in. ‘Hey, Alec do you have any plans tonight?’ Alec looked up wrinkling his eyebrows. ‘Yeah.’ Clary looked up a little shocked. ‘With who?’ Alec down and went back to his paperwork. ‘Magnus and I have plans.’ She looked up and smiled brightly. ‘Oh my gosh Alec, finally after all this time you guys are finally gonna get together.’ 

 

He looked at her and smiled back. When Magnus first erased his memories Alec didn’t want a lot of people to know because he didn’t want them to know he cared. So Clary was saying this thinking that they have known each other for about a year. When in Magnus’ reality they only met 3 days ago. Alec shook the thoughts out of his head and replied with a ‘Yeah I guess so.’ When Clary left Alec finished up the work.

 

He had started at 10:00 and it was now 5:50 on the dot. He started preparing for his ‘movie’ and got in the shower. When he got out of the shower he rubbed his face to loosen his muscles. He shaved cutting his face by accidentally, of course. He cut, under his lip.

 

It was almost 7 when he was done in the bathroom.He got ready for his date trying to find a shirt that showed his, features. He settled with a light blue one that was cut short. He wasn’t really comfortable with the color but he knew Magnus, he would love it. He left the institute at about 7 he wanted to be a little early. 

 

When I walked in Magnus was dancing. Which was amazing. Even before he erased his memory he never danced in front of me. I now understand why he loved clubbing so much. He turned around with a wave of his arms and he notices me watching him. When he turns around Alec notices his shirt is unbuttoned. His face turns completely red because of the scene. 

 

‘Alexander I didn’t hear you come in.’ Magnus purs. Magnus walks up to Alec and before he kisses him he grabs his chin muttering, ‘Oh dear what happened.’ Alec looks confused then starts to laugh, ‘Magnus I cut my lip while shaving.’ Alec sits down while Magnus puts in a movie. They don’t pay much attention to the movie but they do talk a lot. 

 

Magnus muttered ‘The movie is literally halfway over and we haven’t even watched it yet.’ Alec looks at him and starts to laugh. The laugh I contagious and Magnus laughs too. The stop when Magnus flicks a hair out of Alec's face.

 

Alec looks at him with a straight face then leans forward. He slowly starts to kiss him at first but the kiss gets heated when Magnus straddles him. Alec whimpers when Magnus starts to kiss his neck biting his ear. They are so caught up in the moment that they don’t realize the door open. They look over and Clary is standing at the door. She is smiling from ear to ear.

 

She screams ‘Finally, after all this time you finally go together.’ Alec looks at her and frowns. Magnus looks at her confused but smiling. ‘Um..biscuit we literally met like yesterday and we kissed on the first-day so..you didn’t have to wait that long.’ She looks at him confused. ‘Magnus what do you mean you guys met like a year ago.’

 

Alec interrupted with a ‘Clary stop Magnus is right.’ She looks at him because she is starting to get frustrated. ‘Alec what are you talking about, I literally told you this early and you agreed.’ Alec looked at Magnus as he got off his lap.  ‘I'm so confused I don’t understand what you guys are talking about.’ Magnus looked back and forth from Alec to Clary.

 

Alec looked at Clary saying ‘What did you do?’ He looked at Magnus and asked Clary to leave. Alec started to cry when Magnus kept asking what was going on. He cut him off with a ‘Magnus...I..am so so sorry I have to tell you something.’ Magnus looked up as Alec started to cry more.


	4. memory

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus learns about the memories and finds a ritual that will slowly bring them back but it is kind of..um....sexual.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Should there be more or is it the end?

Alec stood up he paced as he retold the story to Magnus finishing off with a. “Just please don’t be mad I am so sorry I shouldn’t have let you do this,” Magnus stood up and walked over to a distraught Alec. He wiped the many tears that had fallen down to his chin. “Alec I don’t blame you,” Alec looked up at him and his bottom lip quivered. 

 

Magnus thought it was absolutely adorable but was pulled back to reality by Alexander’s apologies. “No this is my fault if I wasn’t such a damn coward we would be together, and you would remember me. I wouldn’t remember the way you looked right through me like a stranger even though I was the goddamn love of your life,” Alec was sobbing now he sat on the floor and put one hand on his face.

 

Magnus sat next to him and stroked his head. “I’ll fix this it’s fine,” Magnus said making Alec look up. “How?” Magnus looked at him and smirked a little. “I can’t get my memories back but I can see yours. I can use a spell to see our memories. It’s kinda like a vision, but it only happens when we touch,” Magnus said taking Alec’s hand.

 

Alec stood up pulling Magnus up with him saying out loud, “What do you need me to do?” Magnus stood up and pulled Alec towards the bedroom. This spell was very, um..physical. When they got there Magnus started to explain. “Well, the steps are literally  ROH, kekuatan, seks which roughly translates to spirits, power, and sex.” Magnus looked up at Alec who was red. 

 

“Wait.. so to get your memories back we have to have sex?” Magnus looked at Alec and smiled. He leaned in and whispered, “If there is this whole other part of me that is even more in love with you, then I need it.” Magnus grabbed Alec’s chin tilting it up a bit. Magnus kissed him gently he went a little rough when Alec grabbed his hips.

 

Magnus straddled him going on top. Alec heard chants as he kissed Magnus’ neck. Magnus chanted over and over again and when Alec bit down on his neck he felt a surge of power. Then a flash in his head.  _ ‘Hi I’m Magnus I don’t think we’ve been formally introduced.’ Alec looked at him smiling brightly. ‘Alec.’ Alec stood there for a second admiring Magnus’ face.   _ He was taken out of the memory by Alec saying, “Magnus are you ok.” Magnus looked down at Alec’s swollen lips and swollen. 

 

He smiled bight at Alec saying. “It’s working, don’t stop.” Alec grabbed the bottom of Magnus’ shirt and ripped it off. Magnus arched his back as Alec rubbed his hands up Magnus’ sides. Magnus ground down on Alec as a memory ripped through him.  _ “Why did you come?” “I’m not sure.”  _ Magnus felt Alec start to undo his pants and he was attacked by another memory. “ _ Help me, I need your strength.” “Take what you need.”  _  Alec started to slow down he kissed my neck slowly and touched me slowly. 

 

Then He felt it crash like there were a million things happening at once. Like a wave. Magnus remembered everything. The freshest is our last moment together. How brave Alec was to tell him that and how sad he looked. “Alec stop,” Alec stopped and looked up kissing Magnus on the sternum one last time. “What is it am I doing something wrong,” Magnus looked down at Alec leaning down to kiss him gently

 

. Alec noticed when Magnus pulled away, the tears that were falling. “Magnus you are lying tell me what’s wrong,” Magnus looked at him and smiled. 

 

“I remember,” Alec looked up at him and his lip quivered. He wrapped his arms around Magnus whispering a quick. “Magus? I’m so sorry I should have never let you do that it was stupid and foolish,” Magnus stopped him by putting a finger in his face. “Enough,” Magnus said as he went back to kissing Alec.

**Author's Note:**

> At the end, it kinda switched to Alec P.O.V   
> if you guys want more tell me or if you want me to write a fanfic about something.  
> Please, no hate.  
> Should this be a one-shot?


End file.
